Anniversary 2026





On this Day, 48 Years Ago....a 22 year old me and a 24 year old Mark awoke to a beautiful cloudless day, which would always be remembered as our wedding day...except it took me nearly half the day to remember it myself and my children didn't remember it at all (they could've reminded me it was my anniversary). I woke up feeling inexplicably blue and depressed; couldn't get out of bed until almost 10am, was walking around forlorn, and then decided I was going to turn this blog into a memoir and start the process of getting it published. So, I sat down and started reading through my entries and when I got to the one entitled, "Anniversary", it occurred to me that my wedding anniversary would be coming up soon. And then it dawned on me that this day was my wedding day. And I had totally forgotten it. And then I realized why I was feeling the way I was.  

I started thinking about me as that 22 year old girl, so innocent and naive on that day, a lifetime ago. I imagined
if I could go back to that day in 1978, what would my 70 year old self tell that young girl? I imagined going up the spiral staircase of the Manhattan Beach Jewish Center to the bridal suite. The old me would smile at the young me sitting in the bride's chair. I would be admiring her wrinkle-free skin and her full head of dark, curly hair, and then chuckle at her naiveté. The young me would stare at the old me, thinking she's looking at a mirror to a reflection of herself in the future, years and years from now. She would recognize her face in mine, aged with a few wrinkles, her hair, a silvery white, like her grandma's was, and be simultaneously perplexed and curious. 

First, I would take her youthful hands in mine and tell her to smile, that she and Mark will have a good and happy life and they will never stop loving one another, even though, there will be some hard times. I would admit that despite being very sad at times, now, I have wonderful memories of the love I shared with Mark and the beautiful family we created and those memories comfort me, even though I long for more. I would advise her that it's okay to look back as long as you continue to move forward. 

I would share that, right now, I have just returned from an amazing trip, a cruise on the Mediterranean sea, visiting cities in Spain, France, and Italy and Mark was there with me. (I would not divulge that Mark was there in spirit and I sprinkled his remains in the beautiful places I went to.) I would also tell her I just got back from celebrating our granddaughter's bat mitzvah and how witnessing that made me realize how blessed I am to have gotten this old.

And then, I would leave the innocent and naive Jeannie and reluctantly go back to this day, June 24, 2026, even though, I'd rather stay and do it all over again, become that 22 year old, full of so much to look forward to. Except, this time, I would pay closer attention. 

Ahh, if only we could relive the best parts of our life like watching a favorite movie over again. And we can. We can close our eyes and return to the flashbacks that made this life worth living....

Mark always calling me at work when we were first married to say, "I just called to tell you that I love you."

Mark bringing me flowers for no reason at all

Mark crying when I gave birth to Lindsay, saying, "thank you" through his tears

Mark trying to get Kimmy to stop crying when she was an infant

Mark playing with our grandchildren

Mark being stuck on the roof during an ice storm 

Mark bringing the wood in from the backyard of our home in Long Island to make a fire

Mark walking Kimmy down the aisle on very limited oxygen, but still with the biggest smile

Mark and I walking in the snow when I first realized I would spend the rest of my life with him

 

All these memories will always be treasures that I can carry into my life as I navigate the business of living as a single woman....because "What's the point if you stop the business of living?"*

As I finished this, I was going to add a link to the song Our House by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, which was the link I added on last year's anniversary post. I was listening to it as I completed this entry. When the song ended, the next song was our wedding song, And I Love You So, by Don McLean. I will take that as a sign from Mark. 

Happy Anniversary, Honey; I still wish you were here. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qarnzcRbPMk&list=RDaunVlekXjkE&index=2

*Quote from Remarkably Bright Creatures

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